Ppffttt.....

That's all I have left. Ppffttt...

In January I set a goal to get to the gym and bike 50 miles. I crushed that goal by over double.

I gained weight.

In February I set a goal to stick to a weights program. I found a beginner's back to weight lifting 4 week program.

I gained weight.

In March I said ok. Clearly I am doing this all wrong. How about more cardio and push your own limits. Got to an upper/lower body alternating schedule. AND mind what you are eating. A couple splurges for my guys birthday but over all been vastly improving my binge eating. Also showed up to the gym on more days than not. And thought I was killing it.

I gained fucking weight. I am officially at my own personal all time high.

So I am desperate. And fell into the It Works! Bandwagon. Whatever. Here we go. I am hoping that at least the placebo effect kicks in and I stop eating I guess.

I wake sad and mad and disappointed. I'm disgusted every time I eat, even if it is good choices and wish I were strong enough to be anorexic.

In preparation to starting It Works! I cut carbs except for right after waking in the morning and after the gym. I haven't had soda in ages. Cut fast food for me which is hard on busy busy days.

It all fucking sucks. I sought out living a healthier life to cut out all the prescriptions from my life...ironic that my morning looks like this anyway.